Compassion is a fundamental component of healing. However, it can be difficult for people who have experienced childhood trauma.
Two reasons people struggle with showing compassion
- Recently a did a video on the seven components of healing in the private Facebook group Wounds That Heal and people commented by saying they struggle with showing compassion to self. Many find it hard to show empathy to self and therefore have a hard time demonstrating genuine sympathy for others. Lack of warmth will be damaging to any relationship.
- Primary caregivers failed at modelling empathy, and therefore they do not know how to demonstrate it to themselves or others.
Although it may seem difficult to demonstrate of tender feelings, there is hope. Showing warmth and affection can be learnt. Tenderness may become easier when modelled, however, no one was born with an innate sense benevolence. It can be learnt. Here is how to begin.
Start by fully accepting and loving you, just as you are. Both the good parts and the parts you are trying to change. You can begin to care for others when you also offer yourself kindness and empathy. Self-acceptance serves many purposes; it could enable you to articulate your needs to the people who matter so that they can have a better understanding how you are feeling. Understanding self will also help you put boundaries in place where necessary.
Three ways compassion can revolutionise your relationships
- When we show compassion, people will begin to feel safe with us. Empathy communicates a willingness to walk alongside someone even though the painful periods.
- People with compassion usually have a non-judgemental stance. They are accepting of others.
- Compassion communicates value for the other person.
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