As parents when you do not give yourself permission to deal with your hurt it could make you emotionally unavailable to your children.
In this video, I will walk you through a simple process that you can use to connect with you and be available to the important people in your life.
Do you equate getting close to getting hurt.
?Is there push-pull in your relationships?
You are aware of emotional disconnect but is unaware of where to start to begin to address the cause.
In this video, I will help to point you in the direction of change so that you can move on free.
A variety of things can act as stumbling blocks to connection, in this video series I am helping to unblock some of those issues and give you the tools to begin to enjoy meaningful relationships
The dark side of stories we tell ourselves becomes apparent when we focus on the negative aspect of our experiences or allow people to concoct a story about us and project it onto us.
However, when we craft a plot filled with negative messages and prop those up with negative rules, we are trapped in a cycle of disappear. You might be telling yourself there is no way out; no one loves me, I am unlovable etc.
Society, family, and the church also tell stories. They suggest how we should be, how we should relate to pain and suffering and what is an acceptable way of mourning or dealing with trauma. Sometimes we consciously and unconsciously conform to these stereotypes and deny ourselves the freedom to mourn, grieve, or deal with the pain of brokenness. We, therefore, adopt a façade, take their definition of strength and deny ourselves the freedom to move through painful places. We feel the unnerving gaze of society and shrink back from the opportunity to allow ourselves the freedom to be vulnerable, put our heads above the parapet and declare that we are hurting.
As a result, many do not get the help that they need and unfortunately suffer in silence. The impact of this internal suffering sometimes comes out and damages our relationships with ourselves, colour our interpersonal relationships and affect our communication with children, partners and those around us.
When this occurs, we exist in a daze where we miss out on what it feels like to be fully alive. To survive, we tell ourselves stories about the current position. We confirm to societies’ ideas of who we should be and allow ourselves to fit into a pattern that will be pleasing to others.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to break free or to live your life free from the stories that other people shape for you?
Sometimes when we are hurt the big story that we focus on is the pain. When the pain is our focus, we miss the other parts of our story, the part where you achieve.
Beginning to tell yourself a different story might be a challenge. The exciting thing is you can determine how the story ends. You can decide to formulate a plot that incorporates the story of your healing and recovery. You can be intentional in learning how to let go of shame and the specific skills you employ not to allow fear to rule. You can choose the ending; it will either be one where you allow the pain and the people who hurt you to win, or it can be the one where you take control and focus on the positives about you, your life and healing.