Wounds To Scars

Tag: internal dialogue

  • Three simple steps to help you heal

    Three simple steps to help you heal

    Healing can be difficult, it is certainly not straightforward The journey has twist and turns and sometimes unexpected surprises.  Nevertheless, I would like to share three simple steps to help you heal.  These are relevant wherever you are in healing.  Whether you are just beginning to think about maybe getting help, you are motivated to change and is actively accessing support or you have started and is enjoying the journey of self-discovery and love the new you that’s emerging.

    Three simple steps to help heal 

    1. Honestly, Communicate my Needs

    Honestly describe your need to the people around you.  When you are in a place of uncertainty, pain and need healing it is important that you are honest with those around you as well as with yourself.

    Own your current position.

    Acknowledge the way you are feeling for example, are you angry, sad or frustrated.

    Notice your internal dialogue and try to identify the root.  For example, is shame or self-hate a part of your internal dialogue.  Notice how they make you feel.

    When you communicate your needs you might be pleasantly surprised that people will respond and help.

    2. Prayer and meditation

    Prayer is a crucial part of these steps. Sometimes prayer might be periods of silences as you allow yourself to fully experience the feelings and make sense of the emotions that might be swirling around.

    Silence will give you time to be still, in stillness your body gets time to adjust and your state of arousal (trigger) will lessen.  This will allow you to make decisions that are based on facts and not how you might be feeling at that time.

    Silences will help you hear not only your body but any direction or next steps that will help you through your current situation.

    3. Support

    Honestly communicated your need to someone who will be able to not only offer feedback but who can also help you to reflect and make choices..

    As you go through different experiences identifying and using support appropriately will be the difference between receiving healing and freedom or staying stuck in an unhealthy dysfunction.

    The Power of all Three

    Communication, prayer, and support are all necessary ingredients for healing.   Sometimes people mistakenly use one or two and not the combination of all three when this happens healing could be delayed.

     

  • The Road Less Travelled

    The Road Less Travelled

    road hill new

    I know a few, and I am sure you may be familiar with one or two as well.  They can be the life of the party or the individual who stays in the corner of the room talking to one person all evening.  They are public speakers, stay at home moms, professionals and unemployed.  However, they have one thing in common; they are all plagued by this simple problem.  Failing to take the path to self-acceptance.

    This group is familiar with avoidance.  They excel in careers, parenting and whatever they chose to do yet they fail to accept their worth.  They do no comprehend or recognise their value.  In fact, whenever complimented they laugh nervously and change the subject.  The value that they cherish is all external, and their self-talk is mostly negative. They thrive on accomplishments but in the silence when all other voices are hushed they face discomfort and fear.

    There are two important things to change for self-acceptance to become a reality

    Change How you see yourself

    Accept you, now, right here, right where you are.  Before you lose the weight, change your wardrobe, get the promotion, the new job, husband or new car.

    Change internal dialogue

    Adjust what you say to yourself, repeat and personalise what the Lord says about you. ‘You are fearfully and wonderfully made’  Psalms 139:14 ‘you are the apple of my eye’ Deuteronomy 32:10

    Though the suggestions may involve risk, these are risk worth taking.  As you begin to challenge your internal dialogue, you will perhaps meet with resistance as you struggle to win the battle between retreating into the safety of the old versus the newness of the unknown.  The fear of the unknown is usually more daunting than what happens when you arrive there.  So begin to look in the mirror, hold your gaze and say ‘I love you.’