Wounds To Scars

Tag: Self Acceptance

  • 4 Tips on Emotional Healing

    4 Tips on Emotional Healing

    We experience emotional distress in different ways. The key to minimising the damage from this distress is to learn and implement things that can help to combat the loss.

    Here are four things that you can do that will help with emotional healing.

    Love yourself
     Loving yourself needs time and practice. Both are necessary because perhaps for many love was not a feature of day to day life. Maybe you are accustomed to aggression, distancing and silence. When this was your reality learning to love yourself is crucial to healing. Surround you with people who offer kindness, compassion and sympathy. Find the ones that can be empathic and self-less. When you do, model their behaviour in learning to love you.

    For further instructions read books on how others practice self-love. Books are a great source of inspiration and information.

    Accept yourself
     Self-acceptance can be hard when we have not had that modelled to you. Through love and acceptance once from the people around us, we can learn self-acceptance through education.

    Accept love

    Sometimes it’s difficult to accept love when we’ve experienced hurt. At those times letting people, and learning to trust can be hard. However, healing means allowing people in because we heal in relationships. In these relationships, you will learn how to love and allowed your self to accept love.

    Mindset matters
     Emotional distress can be heightened through the thoughts we think. Learning to manage negative automatic thoughts will be a game changer in how you approach healing.

  • Are You a People Pleaser?

    Are You a People Pleaser?

     

    Many make the mistake of equating Christ-like behaviour with being a people pleaser. Yes. Christ wants us to show His love to others by reaching out to them with kindness, compassion and a willing heart to give them help and support. But this does not mean being a doormat and sacrificing yourself for anyone who wants something. Are you a people pleaser?

     

    “We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please”

    -Lysa TerKeurst

     

     6 signs that you are a people pleaser:

    1. You cannot say no
      You agree to things you do not want to do. You go out of your way to make sure that you do not break any plans or let anyone down in any way – even if it severely inconveniences you.
    2. You feel like a doormat
      You allow people to take advantage of you in various ways without doing anything about it. You often allow people to hurt you and use you and you just accept it.
    3. You always attract people who need to be ‘rescued’
      People always flock to you because they know you will drop whatever you are doing to help them. This includes family members.
    4. You are constantly apologising
      You find yourself apologising for everything and anything even when you are not in the wrong. Others know that in a sticky situation you will always take the blame. On the flip side of this, you avoid giving yourself credit for anything and feel that everyone else should have credit over you.
    5. You do not ask for or accept help
      You do not ask for help because you don’t want to inconvenience anyone and you want people to believe you can do everything yourself.
    6. You look for praise in othersWhen you complete a task or help someone, you look for praise from others to validate you rather than being satisfied within yourself of your accomplishments.

     

    Consequences of people pleasing

    Real love for others is built on the foundation of honesty. Being dishonest with yourself causes you to neglect your emotional health.

    In turn this leads you to experience the following:

    • Resentfulness to others.
      You will start to become resentful to others because of your inability to say no and because you constantly allow them to treat you badly.
    • Inability to enjoy life
      You still start to find it difficult to enjoy activities and relationships with others because of the way they are treating you.
    • Stressed and Depressed
      Because of the weight of all the commitments you have taken on, that you are unable to stick to, you will become overwhelmingly stressed and if left untreated, fall into a period of depression.

     

    What can you do to overcome your people pleasing habits? Find out in the next blog post…

    Sign up for our online Emotional Healing Conference here!

    Click here to find out how to connect to your loved ones.

  • This One Thing Stops You From Healing

    This One Thing Stops You From Healing

     

    As parents when you do not give yourself permission to deal with your hurt it could make you emotionally unavailable to your children.

    In this video, I will walk you through a simple process that you can use to connect with you and be available to the important people in your life.

  • The Road Less Travelled

    The Road Less Travelled

    road hill new

    I know a few, and I am sure you may be familiar with one or two as well.  They can be the life of the party or the individual who stays in the corner of the room talking to one person all evening.  They are public speakers, stay at home moms, professionals and unemployed.  However, they have one thing in common; they are all plagued by this simple problem.  Failing to take the path to self-acceptance.

    This group is familiar with avoidance.  They excel in careers, parenting and whatever they chose to do yet they fail to accept their worth.  They do no comprehend or recognise their value.  In fact, whenever complimented they laugh nervously and change the subject.  The value that they cherish is all external, and their self-talk is mostly negative. They thrive on accomplishments but in the silence when all other voices are hushed they face discomfort and fear.

    There are two important things to change for self-acceptance to become a reality

    Change How you see yourself

    Accept you, now, right here, right where you are.  Before you lose the weight, change your wardrobe, get the promotion, the new job, husband or new car.

    Change internal dialogue

    Adjust what you say to yourself, repeat and personalise what the Lord says about you. ‘You are fearfully and wonderfully made’  Psalms 139:14 ‘you are the apple of my eye’ Deuteronomy 32:10

    Though the suggestions may involve risk, these are risk worth taking.  As you begin to challenge your internal dialogue, you will perhaps meet with resistance as you struggle to win the battle between retreating into the safety of the old versus the newness of the unknown.  The fear of the unknown is usually more daunting than what happens when you arrive there.  So begin to look in the mirror, hold your gaze and say ‘I love you.’