chose action not anger

On Sunday, I began a 7 days periscope challenge ‘Healing through the cross’ I have been connecting our story with Jesus’ story.  I demonstrated that He can relate to everything that we experienced.  On day three of my challenge I focused on Anger, this was a deliberate decision.   I know that anger is a word that many are uncomfortable with, we pretend it is not happening when in effect it is.  Two things happen when anger is ignored, we either internalised it or explode at seemingly insignificant events.  Our anger is not used in a constructive way.

Use anger constructively

Anger helped to change my perspective about my pain.  I never forgot the moment this happened.  I was in the airport in Seattle waiting to board my flight back to London when upon seeing a total stranger I froze, I could not think or move.  My one conscious thought was what if it is him, what would I do.  This gentleman walked by totally oblivious to my moment of panic.  However, that day changed my life.  It was the day I felt fury on my behalf, I decided then that I would not allow myself to be frozen with fear anymore.  After the fog cleared several things became clear;

1. I realised that fear had taken my language; fear of people’s opinion, what will think of me if they know. I decided that I would break my silence; I would speak for me and for all those who would like to express their pain but have not gotten angry yet.  I would speak for those who do not yet have the strength to access support or start their healing journey.
2. I felt free for the first time in a long time.

There is one important tragedy that happens when anger is misplaced, sometimes we project our annoyance onto God; this kind of pain fuelled rage can influence two things:

It can either push you away from God

Or help you move into an extraordinary relationship with Him.  A relationship that will help you lean into Him and share exactly what is happening in real time. 

Have you ever been at a place where you are desperate for God but are afraid to reach out to Him? Have you ever felt frantic but quietly angry at Him?  In the deep recesses of your heart, you have questions, the kind that will make you roll your fist and shout where you were? How could you leave, you did not extend your protection to me. God is not afraid of these questions, in fact, He understands because those accusations are like looking at the cross and saying.

‘You have no idea what it feels like to be humiliated.

You have no idea what it feels like to be afraid, alone and sad.

You have no idea what it feels like when everyone has deserted you and no one is left to stand by your side.

You have no idea how it feels to be embarrassed, used, abused.

You have no idea what if feels like to have people who you love and trust hurt you.

You do not know how it feels to experience sleepless nights and be wounded and scared.

God listens patiently waiting for you to finish and then He points to the cross, because at the cross Jesus was humiliated, alone and sad, he was embarrassed and deserted.  He knows, but we have to choose to believe. Truly he has borne our grief and carried our sorrows.