Author: Sara Clarke

Loving ourselves and appreciating who we are in Christ is vital to having a healthy and happy life. Christ commanded us to ‘…love thy neighbour as thyself…”- Mark 12:31. Christ is talking about wholesome, thankful and appreciative love – NOT worldly prideful and arrogant love. How can we love others if we cannot love ourselves?

Here are 5 practical ways to become more self-appreciating:

1. Dwell on the life of Christ
   It is by dwelling on the life of Christ and all that He went through, just so we can have a chance of salvation, that we lose sight of the silly little things that get us down in life. Sometimes we blow our problems up in our minds to the point they seem almost unbearable. But when we read, watch and study about sweet Jesus and all that He is, all that He has done and how much He loves us, those problems shrivel up into the back of our minds. We need a daily session with Jesus as He is the purpose of our lives and therefore the true key to real happiness. It is by lifting Him up that we become free to love who He has created us to be and to love others as they are.
2. Help others!
   From the Bible to Science, it is becoming a well-known fact that helping others is a powerful pathway to personal growth and lasting happiness. When we give to others, in a healthy balanced way, we naturally feel happier as this is the way God created us to be! Helping others has been proven to reduce rates of depression, lower blood pressure and increase our sense of purpose and overall life satisfaction. We were created to love and be loved and that’s why helping others will help you to love and appreciate yourself too!
3. Watch less television
   Yes, I said it! Studies show that watching excessive amount of television can impair our happiness. We know this! If we allow ourselves to be sucked into the screen and absorbed by the lives of those on it, we will have no time to enjoy our own! We will not have time to socially interact with those around us, to explore the wonderful truths in God’s word and the lessons He wants to show us in nature, to discover new hobbies we never thought we would be into and use the creative minds God has given us. Although the only true source of happiness is in Christ, He has given us many things in this world as expressions of His love for us to enjoy. He wants us to love being the unique individuals he created us to be. Explore!
4. Be positive
   

   ‘Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening’ -Lisa M Hayes
   

   God has given us powerful minds which can bring the subconscious into reality. Beware  of what you think! Our thoughts become our feelings, which then effect our behaviour and then become our reality. Negative thoughts = negative view of life = unhappiness. Positive thoughts = positive view of life = happiness!

   Shower yourself with encouragement and positivity and always try to look for the lessons learned from your mistakes. This is how to be kind to yourself. Having a positive outlook on life will not only change the way you think about yourself but how you think about others too!

5. Have a moment of gratitude
   Thank God for the blessings in your life every day! Taking a few minutes each day to express through words what you are thankful to God for has a great impact on your emotional well-being. It opens your eyes to all the good things and people that are in your life – which we often take for granted!
6. Go to bed early
   This is a no-brainer! If you are constantly shaving off hours of sleep each night, you will find it increasingly hard to get through the day with a positive outlook on life. The everyday stresses of life will started weighing you down and you will feel like your burdens are just too much to bear. Being well rested will give you the energy your body needs to think right, feel right and act right. More sleep = happier life.

If you haven’t already, check out the blog ‘10 Signs you are Being too Hard on Yourself’

Deep down we all crave attention, validation, acceptance and appreciation because we all want to be LOVED. God created us as social beings to give and receive love.

However, although many of us yearn to be valued and appreciated by others, we are so harsh and unloving to ourselves! Does this ring any bells?

Here are 10 signs that you are being too hard on yourself:

1. You regularly engage in hardcore sessions of introspection and only seem to discover all of your flaws.
2. You find it hard to celebrate your success and are fixed on the belief that there is a long way to go before you will be able to deserve a reward for your success.
3. You can never accept praise or a compliment from others because of point 2.
4. You blame yourself for all the bad things that have happened to you in the past without taking external factors into consideration and holding others accountable.
5. You cannot seem to let go of the bad things you have done in the past and you constantly think about what you would be today if you had made better choices in life. You also dwell on your mistakes for lengthy periods of time instead of accepting them as part of a learning process and moving on.
6. You are constantly comparing yourselves to others. You may find yourself on the game of ‘keep up with the Joneses’ or wallowing in despair because you simply cannot keep up.
7. You don’t know how to relax and be kind to yourself. You cannot just live in the present and enjoy the blessings in your life right now.
8. Because you are always striving to be the better version of yourself, you never allow yourself to embrace who you are right now and see the good qualities you possess.
9. You often receive criticism that comes from others as confirmation of the views you hold for yourself. You may expect others to be hard on you and therefore see it as acceptable, which can open the doors for abusers to walk right in.
10. You have trouble sleeping at night because you are always overthinking everything.

Next, we will focus on ways to become more self appreciative…