Once again we are bombarded by the news of yet another high profile case of historical sexual abuse. It takes courage for a person who has been abused to share their truth; because there are so many factors involved. I cannot imagine how complicated it must be to have the world know your story and have an opinion on your pain. I stand in solidarity with those who had to endure suffering because of the actions of others.
I was surprised by my resistance to putting #meToo on my status, even though I teach on the subject, write courses and offer workshops designed to help individuals overcome the impact of sexual abuse.
I know the pervasiveness of the shame and stigma surrounding the issue not only professionally through working with dozens of women and men gripped in the pain of leftover hurt but also because I have walked the road to healing and know firsthand how challenging it can be.
Healing from sexual abuse is complex and requires support and determination. I salute the thousands who have put #metoo on their status and acknowledged those who have silently joined.
Recently I asked ten women ‘what is your biggest frustration when healing from abuse’ the answers were varied but shame, fear and the reaction of family and friends featured significantly in the frustrations people experience when trying to heal.
After you have shared
The repercussions of saying me too can be far-reaching. Before sharing ensure you have support to help you through the scrutiny of the public gaze. After you have shared, have someone to help you talk about any feelings that were triggered or unresolved issues that may come up.
My battle to add my voice to #metoo reminded me of the decision I made that day in the airport in Seattle when my fear turned to anger. It was the day my indignation turned outward and directed at the perpetrator as opposed to lying inside and ate away at my self-esteem and confidence.
I decided to speak, the silence was no longer acceptable and the words that laid dormant for years bubbled to the surface and birth wounds to scars. I aim to make it ok for those who are not ok to say they are not ok. To help the many women who have been abused to speak their truth and give themselves the opportunity to heal.