Reviewing your relationship history can be uncomfortable but might be well worth the effort; This journey into the past could be your road map for the future. Perhaps before processing your hurt, you had certain maladaptive behaviours that caused hurt and pain in your relationship. To understand and not repeat those, it is necessary to frequently evaluate your relationships and with help illuminate the things that are harmful.
When doing an evaluation of patterns and cycles in your relationship also consider the impact of childhood trauma. Difficulties encountered in childhood plays a significant role in who you are today, and to avoid the mistakes of the past, you need to be wary of them.
Here are four things that will make an immediate difference to your relationship.
- Take an inventory of your relationship history – go as far back as your family of origin.
- Reassessing the records will help you see if you are subconsciously repeating any unruly patterns that were present in your family.
- Forgetting the trauma and pretending it isn’t there will not contribute to change. I am not suggesting unearthing memories that are not there. However, many try to forget in an effort to avoid dealing with the past. Nevertheless, the trauma appears in every other area of their lives. Sometimes negatively impacting parenting and interpersonal relationships.
- Being aware of the implications of the hurt will help you, get to grips with your relationship history and contribute to healing.
After 12 years of marriage, working through my childhood trauma and providing counselling for countless men and women. I shared some of what I learnt in my new eBook love interrupted: reclaiming your relationships.
Love Interrupted is a candid look at the impact of childhood trauma on marriages. It also provides tips that you can use that could help you unlock severe cycles in your relationship.