Interview with Dr Mable C. Dunbar; president/CEO WHEnetwork
Dr Dunbar is the president and CEO of Women’s Healing and Empowerment Network. A licensed professional counsellor and certified domestic violence counsellor, author, educator and motivational speaker.
Joanna: Dr Dunbar in your experience of working with people what makes people reach out for support?
Dr Dunbar: Many times it is because they cannot cope with life. Many times they recognise that their life is dysfunctional and that they need help. A lot of times it is because people are tired of hurting and they are tired of being in emotional pain and they are yearning for something better.
Joanna: Do people contact you personally or is it friends or family that contact on their behalf:
Dr Dunbar: Both; sometimes people know what I do or they hear about the healing that our organisation offers and contact me or people people who have been through the program refer others.
Joanna: It sounds like people reach for support at different stages, some when they are tired and hurting, cannot cope and they are yearning for something else.
Dr Dunbar: For a lot of women they do not want to repeat the cycle of their mother and other significant people in their lives and they want something better for their children. They realise that they have a great impact on the health of their children and seek help.
Joanna: that is a really good reason for seeking help.
Joanna: Is it mostly women.
Dr Dunbar: We get some men; men tend not to reach out as much. However one of the things I am discovering in my experience is that men feel sometimes intimidated by going to women for help. Men tend to work with men and that’s why my husband who is a full time pastor supports my ministry. There are times when he would work with some men who would call him. We also have a conference every year where the men can come and deal with their issues in the privacy of just being in a group with men. But it is very difficult for a man to reach out especially to me a female and it is even more difficult for them to admit that they are hurting. I feel very strongly that men need to come together to work on behalf of each other.
Joanna: you mentioned your conference. What date is the conference this year?
Dr Dunbar: 30th September – 1 October 2016.
Joanna: From attending a couple years ago I know they are in for a treat. I am hoping to attend this year as well.
Joanna: Is it important that when women come for help that they have a certain mind set? does that influence how healing progress.
Dr Dunbar: Absolutely if they come with an open mind, a lot of times if they come to get information for somebody else it do not work. A lot of times women are in a lot of emotional pain but they might see somebody else who they feel is worse off than them and so they try to help that person. I encouraged women to come with an open mind. The conference is also for care providers so the fact that you want to come means you have a deep concern for people but come with an open mind understanding that healing is for everybody and so not only will they get information for others they will also receive healing for themselves. We really cannot get healing for others; we can get resource and information but not healing.
Joanna: just to summaries, coming with an open mind not just to the conference but to the homes that you run will be crucial to how healing progress.
Dr Dunbar: Yes, some women come because they do not have anywhere else to go. Some come because it is a transitional home and they are just looking for a place to stay for a couple months. Some come thinking it is a hotel but it’s not every woman who enters the program gets healing because they come with ulterior motives, healing is hard work and they do not want to do the hard work and so they leave.
Joanna: you mentioned the program and your new book EMPOWERED talks about some of the women who have been through your program. Tell us a little bit about the program? How long does it last?
Dr Dunbar: it is a psycho educational support group that last 2 months and we discussed various topics from domestic violence to stress management, assertiveness training, family of origin issues, reality testing, goal setting, grief and loss. The support group runs twice weekly and the women have assignments that they have to complete. The group is very powerful because the women challenge each other for example, in reality testing the women have to face whether there thinking is realistic or a pipe dream.
After the two months the women have the option of either staying at the home or moving on. While they are there they have to work, they cannot just stay there for housing.
Joanna: How does a woman get onto the program?
Dr Dunbar: they have to contact me on the number on the website www.whenetwork.org. There is an intake process where we discuss whether this is something that she would like to do. We would then bring her in depending on the availability we are normally pretty full with a waiting list.
Joanna: I can imagine I know you do amazing work. I know you are based in Washington State but can anybody access the program.
Dr Dunbar: Anyone from anywhere as long as they can get to Spokane, Washington we can take care of them.
Joanna: that is great. Is there a cost?
Dr Dunbar: We go on a donation basis so we try to raise funds so that it does not cost women who do not have financial support. However, it cost us about $1500 every month we provide everything for a woman, food, clothing and transportation for appointments. Most women cannot afford that so we provide services that are free to the women but we ask women to give back by doing crafts etc. that can help bring money in. We do solicit women who can afford to pay to pay.
Joanna: You ask those who can to pay however, there are other ways that they can contribute their skills to help raise funds.
Dr Dunbar: yes.
Joanna: tells what it looks like when a woman have gone through abuse perhaps years of it and gets to the place where she is yearning for help. What does it looks like when that woman is leaving?
Dr Dunbar: It is amazing, when she comes to the program she is normally not trusting, very little eye contact full of shame and blame, feeling that she is at fault for everything that has happened negatively in her life. But when she leaves and she recognises that she can choose healing, that she has individual rights, the right to be, the right to individuality, to be her own person. Her right to think and feel and that all of these gifts are actually given to her by God and that no one has the right to take them away from her and neither should she give up her power. You can see the light coming back in her eyes, you can see the confidence in her step, she starts talking, and you can see the big difference as the change come over her. It does not mean that when she leaves the program she will not be faced with challenges. Sometimes a woman finds herself right back at the same place and that is why the way our program operates if a woman needs to come back to just get that little push that little energy to keep her going on her new path of choosing health and healing she can return and do the program again.
Dr Dunbar: also depending on where she is she will form friendships within that group and I have seen women over the years still call and support each other and give each other powerful affirmations. The only thing I require of women is that when you find support and get healing, help another woman.
Joanna: Having used your other book ‘The truth about us’ in retreats and seeing the transformation that happens over one weekend I can only imagine the change that takes place when someone engages with your program over two months.
Joanna: Thank you for taking to time to talk with me today
Dr Dunbar: you are welcome and God bless you in your ministry.
Dr Dunbar can be contacted vial email at info@whenetwork.com or via her website www.whenetwork.org