Unfortunately, we have all done this at some stage in our lives. Some become aware of it and consciously chose to change. However, others settle into living with the enemy believing the lie that there is no way out. Our greatest obstacle to a new life is self. We are the ones that stand in our way, impede our progress and sabotage our healing.
Self -Sabotage is saying we want something and then go about making sure we do not get it. That seems contradictory, isn’t it? You are right it is, I have met many individuals over the years who are aware something is wrong, their relationships are dysfunctional, they operate in a space without appropriate boundaries, they ignore self-care or suffer enormous guilt. They know they need help; some would like to have helped but ensure they are busy prioritising other things whenever support becomes available.
Here is why you are comfortable in this unhealthy cycle
Familiarity
We can become so accustomed to living in a particular emotional state that it can almost feel safe.
The unconscious in Control
Are you in control of all your choices. Being in control of your choices would mean taking responsibility to make the decision to change consciously. Change may sound daunting for many, but I believe that you can do it. Do you?
Feeling unworthy
Low self-esteem may lead some to believe that they cannot change, heal or grow.
Bad habits
Healing is habit forming. Therefore, you will need to take conscious steps to heal.
Self-Sabotage is an unconscious process many do not consciously set out to do it but nevertheless find themselves in the same unhealthy cycle avoiding opportunities to deal with their hurt.
Three things that could help break the cycle
- Do not justify what you do; this will challenge you but make conscious efforts to do this the results will be rewarding.
- Allow yourself room to be surprised. Remember that there are no perfect solutions to any problem. Define what success looks like for you and embrace that.
- Prioritise you. Putting yourself first can be a challenge for many especially us mothers and wives who find it difficult to do anything for ourselves without having to move our way through mountains of guilt. Remember healing is habit forming, so take the time to form healthy habits of self-care, it is important, and the people who depend on you will thank you for looking after you. If you are a giver and is finding this hard to deal with, when you fill your cup, then you have more to give. Self-care doesn’t lessen what you have to give it enhances it.
If you have not yet registered for the EMOTIONAL HEALING TELESUMMIT be bold take and make the decision to no longer put off addressing your hurt. Register HERE