Hearing about abuse failings in church institutions can be deeply distressing, especially for those of us with personal ties to our faith communities. Such news often stirs betrayal, anger, sadness, and disillusionment with religious institutions. These reactions can affect our mental well-being, spiritual lives, and relationship with God. When faced with these triggering events, it’s essential to prioritise self-care, safeguard our spiritual lives, and lean into healing practices. Here are seven supportive steps to help you navigate these challenging times:
- Protect Yourself
First and foremost, it’s okay to acknowledge that you must protect yourself from further emotional harm. Consuming extensive media coverage or engaging in intense discussions about these issues might deepen the pain. Permit yourself to set healthy boundaries. Choose when and how much to engage, and let yourself pull back if the material is too distressing. Limiting exposure to triggering conversations or articles doesn’t mean you’re ignoring the problem—it means you’re recognising your limits and respecting your emotional well-being.
2. Pay Attention to Your Body
Trauma and distress often manifest physically. Feelings of tightness, fatigue, headaches, or stomach discomfort can all show that your body is responding to emotional overload. Check-in with yourself physically throughout the day, asking questions like, “How is my body feeling right now?” and “What do I need?” Practices like deep breathing, gentle stretching, or even a brief walk outdoors can provide some relief. By tuning into your physical state, you’ll be able to recognise and respond to your needs more compassionately.
3. Take Breaks
It’s perfectly acceptable, and sometimes necessary, to take breaks from your usual worship space if attending is too painful. You might feel more at peace worshipping from home, visiting a different church, or stepping away from religious settings altogether. Trauma can affect our perception of God and distort the connection we seek through worship, so a change of scenery or pace might help recalibrate your heart. You’ll find space to restore your relationship with God without additional emotional strain by intentionally choosing how and where you worship.
4. Create a Calming Space in Your Home
Our environments have a significant impact on our mental and emotional states. Consider setting up a calming, dedicated space in your home where you can retreat and ground yourself. This space could include comforting items like soft blankets, soothing colours, and calming scents such as lavender. Consider adding a cosy chair, gentle lighting, or inspiring artwork to create a sanctuary for peace. Such an intentional space can become your refuge—a place where you feel safe and reconnect with yourself and your spirit away from external stressors.
5. Lean on Prayer
When hurt occurs within Christian communities, it can profoundly impact our prayer life. Anger and resentment towards those involved might cause us to withdraw, not only from the community but also from God. You may feel conflicted about praying or even resentful toward God for the pain caused by others in His name. During these moments, prayer can be a place to voice your anger, confusion, and sorrow honestly. God can handle our strongest emotions, so pour your feelings into Him without holding back. Through prayer, you might find release and an understanding ear, one that can help mend the damage done by broken institutions.
6. Journaling
Journaling is an excellent tool to help process and externalise painful emotions. Writing about your experiences allows you to voice complex feelings, moving them from internal turmoil to a tangible form you can understand and work through. Reflect on what triggers you and why, describe your emotions, and express the thoughts you’d instead not share with others. Journaling can also reveal patterns or insights, allowing you to make sense of your reactions and notice areas that may need healing. With regular practice, journaling offers clarity and emotional relief, empowering you to take further steps toward wholeness.
7. Consider Therapy
Talking with a professional therapist offers a non-judgmental and supportive space to navigate complex emotions and trauma triggered by religious abuse scandals. A therapist can help you process your pain, explore any feelings of betrayal or anger, and work with you to find healthy coping strategies. Therapists trained in religious or spiritual trauma can particularly offer valuable insight if the failings in the church have disrupted your relationship with God or your community. Therapy provides an intentional space to unpack heavy emotions, seek clarity, and find paths forward.
8. Connect with Supportive Groups
Finally, look for supportive, safe groups where you can discuss your experiences with others who may understand. A community that values healing and confidentiality can allow you to express, listen, and grow. Whether it’s a faith-based group dedicated to supporting those affected by abuse, a trauma support group, or even a small Bible study group with friends who understand, finding spaces where you can openly discuss your experiences without judgment can bring a sense of belonging and relief. Sharing your story with others who have walked similar paths can be incredibly validating and healing.